life

this new life is on the horizon...

beyond the pain and into healing

I can't believe it's been two years since my last post; the pain I once felt has washed over me and has now subsided. I want to thank each and everyone for your prayers and support and please know that i am praying for you. i believe life hands you situations, scenarios, hurts and pains so you'll truly recognize the happiness you want to feel, the life you want to live and deserve. Rereading these posts opens my heart to the pain I once felt and the healing I have now received.  I feel a sense of gratitude knowing that I am not alone and a sense of hope that you'll find the same or similar health and healing.

Keep the letters coming.

God Bless

Fear

I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown of what might be and of what may not be. This fear that I carry is almost crippling; it haunts me at night and follows me all day. I don't like this fear and would love it if this fear no longer existed in my life. The Bible tells us to fear not and to be not afraid, but I can't help it. I know that it is unhealthy and that I need to let it go.

I know that I have been washed and cleansed by His grace and His goodness, but the unknown and not knowing what is lurking behind every corner is driving me batty.

Today I am making a commitment to figure out what the fears are that haunt me. Follow me as I travel down this road and make a commitment to overcome the fears that haunt me.

Moving Through the Pain.

Day 4

Finds me looking forward to the future and looking forward to what may be. Full of hope and the possibilities and moving forward in what could be. Day 4 finds me grateful for the experience and thinking that it did pass and will get better.

Moving Through the Pain.

Day 4.

Today I find myself wanting to apologize for the hurts that have been caused through this journey. So many people, so much negativity, so little positivity. What a shame to waste so much time focusing on what is not positive, when you can focus on what is.

So today, rather than focusing on what isn't, I am focusing on the positive and what can be.

Moving Through the Pain.

Day 3.

Overcoming the loneliness and emptiness to find peace.

Day 3 finds me no longer angry, but somewhat peaceful. Knowing that those old wounds could have easily been opened at anytime. I find myself looking for ways to heal and protect myself. The loneliness stems from the fear of being hurt, but no longer. Now there a strong sense of protection for myself. The protector that I had always been was now looking for me.

I find myself gazing out the window now with peace in my heart and a new sense of direction; no longer wanting my life to be controlled by others and learning to have it controlled by me. Those old hurts lead you down interesting roads. The pain, if you allow it, can bring you back.

Moving Through the Pain. Day 2

Day 2

This day, I find myself hearing the negative self talk in my head. No wonder it's been a rocky road. While I have not been moving through the pain, I have been listening to those tiny words that tell me what I can and what I can not do. These words, I believe, have contributed to the lack of momentum in my life.

This day, I am exhausted, so I find myself sleeping more and feeling more and more refreshed as I move on from the hurts and pains that have plagued me for so long. Today I find strength, no matter how it may come and where it may come from.

Today, I grow stronger, heal and gain strength.

How about you?